Weird Sh*t My Cat Does

Lives for blinds, bugs, and all things dangly.
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Thinks I can’t see him (when I can totally see him). 
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Watches me get naked.
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 Drinks out of the toilet even though he has a water bowl.
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Takes off his collar like he’s some sort of rebel looking to “get lost”.
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Bites my toes from under my bed, (then licks them to say sorry).
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Sticks his head in the glass of water I just poured for myself.
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Winks at me… well actually I think one eye is just lazy.
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Gets poop stuck to his butt and makes me get it off cause he “can’t reach”.
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Walks across my keyboard while I’m typing – he gives zero shits about my future.
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Get’s disappointed in me when I come home drunk at 2am/ Sizes up my boy when he comes over.
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Tries to eat my hair.
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Pushes all the litter in the litter box to one side like he’s making a sandcastle.
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Thinks there’s another cat living behind the mirror… Runs around the house looking for clues. 
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Goes from “aw baby” to “you little sh*t” … in seconds.
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Licks my plate before I’m done eating.
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Paws at my nose, attempting to suffocate me in my sleep.
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Ignores me when I try to talk to him about my day.
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Doesn’t realize windows have glass.
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Scratches everything. (Fire mixtape coming soon)
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Get’s down to Drake. Believes he’s the 6Cat. #Blessed
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“Hey palejacket, thanks for the shoutout” – Bank$
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